Sorry, mate. We’re generous, but we’re not running a charity! The free review is just that – a review. We’ll point out what’s broken, but fixing it is a different beast. We’d love to help you tackle the issues (for a fee, obviously), but you’re free to take the review and run if that’s your vibe.
When brands slap 25 hashtags on every social post—#WeGetIt #YouDontKnowHowHashtagsWork #Stop #NoOneCares #PlzStahp #HashtagAbuse #MyEyes #SendHelp.
Running PPC ads with zero targeting is like calling random phone numbers at 3 a.m. and hoping someone wants to buy your crap. Spoiler: They don’t.
Keyword stuffing is basically the SEO version of wearing too much cologne; you think you smell fantastic, but everyone else thinks you stink.
Sending daily promo emails is like sliding into someone’s DMs every hour: you’re either super desperate or extremely bored—either way, unsubscribes are coming.
Trying black-hat SEO is like pissing in the wind—you get a quick thrill, but end up covered in your own mess when Google penalises you.
Agencies claiming they’ll get you ranked #1 ‘overnight’ might as well say they can teach your goldfish to drive. Both are equally believable—and equally dangerous.
If your ad spend is burning cash faster than a pyro with a flamethrower and you still can’t see a single conversion, it might be time to fire your ‘marketing guru.’
Scrolling LinkedIn feels like reading self-authored obituaries: ‘RIP My Competitors, I just closed a massive deal!’ Calm down, Brad—some of us just wanted to see if you had a job opening.
If content is ‘king,’ then some blogs are the royal court jester, juggling crap no one asked for—yet wondering why the bounce rate’s sky-high.
My PPC campaign had such a low CTR, I had to check if I accidentally set the audience to ‘people who hate me.’ Spoiler: That wasn’t an actual setting.
© 2023 - 2024 • Vi Digital Ltd Company No. 15950835 Yes, we’re legit. The government says so. • All Rights Reserved • Developed by Vi Digital
© 2023 - 2024 • Vi Digital Ltd Company No. 15950835 Yes, we’re legit. The government says so. • All Rights Reserved • Developed by Vi Digital
