My PPC campaign had such a low CTR, I had to check if I accidentally set the audience to ‘people who hate me.’ Spoiler: That wasn’t an actual setting.

If your ad spend is burning cash faster than a pyro with a flamethrower and you still can’t see a single conversion, it might be time to fire your ‘marketing guru.’

If content is ‘king,’ then some blogs are the royal court jester, juggling crap no one asked for—yet wondering why the bounce rate’s sky-high.

Agencies claiming they’ll get you ranked #1 ‘overnight’ might as well say they can teach your goldfish to drive. Both are equally believable—and equally dangerous.

Trying black-hat SEO is like pissing in the wind—you get a quick thrill, but end up covered in your own mess when Google penalises you.

Keyword stuffing is basically the SEO version of wearing too much cologne; you think you smell fantastic, but everyone else thinks you stink.

When brands slap 25 hashtags on every social post—#WeGetIt #YouDontKnowHowHashtagsWork #Stop #NoOneCares #PlzStahp #HashtagAbuse #MyEyes #SendHelp.

Scrolling LinkedIn feels like reading self-authored obituaries: ‘RIP My Competitors, I just closed a massive deal!’ Calm down, Brad—some of us just wanted to see if you had a job opening.

Running PPC ads with zero targeting is like calling random phone numbers at 3 a.m. and hoping someone wants to buy your crap. Spoiler: They don’t.