Backstabbing, Lies, and Laughable PR: Our Nightmare of a ‘Partnership’
Backstabbing, Lies, and Laughable PR: Our Nightmare of a ‘Partnership’
Sometimes, you come across a company that’s not just a bad apple — it’s a whole rotting orchard of deceit, incompetence, and pure greed. We teamed up with a certain PR agency (let’s call them ‘The Untrustworthy Parasites’) for what we thought was going to be a win-win collaboration. Instead, we got a masterclass in betrayal, led by a director who wouldn’t know integrity if it slapped them in the face.
Backstabbing, Lies, and Laughable PR: Our Nightmare of a ‘Partnership’
Sometimes, you come across a company that’s not just a bad apple — it’s a whole rotting orchard of deceit, incompetence, and pure greed. We teamed up with a certain PR agency (let’s call them ‘The Untrustworthy Parasites’) for what we thought was going to be a win-win collaboration. Instead, we got a masterclass in betrayal, led by a director who wouldn’t know integrity if it slapped them in the face.
Here’s how they went from “trusted partner” to “legal case study” faster than you can say, “guaranteed results.”
🦹♂️ A Director Who Lied Through Their Teeth
Their director was a walking red flag. A charismatic liar who promised the moon and delivered a steaming pile of mediocrity. They claimed to care about collaboration, success, and client relationships, but let’s be real: the only thing they cared about was their bank balance.
Every conversation was dripping with fake enthusiasm and hollow promises. If we had a pound for every lie they told us, we’d have enough to buy out their pathetic excuse for a business and shut it down ourselves.
🏴☠️ A Thieving Director Who Jumped Ship
Let’s talk about the director who left the PR company. Oh wait — left isn’t quite the right word, is it? Forced out by handing over their shares rather than being bought to justice through the correct legal channels is more accurate. Then had the gall to try and worm their way into our finances. Ethics? Morals? They’ve never heard of them. They even tried it on with one of our gurus. Gross. Stating a message was a typo… get real.
💩 Work So Bad It Belonged in the Bin
We introduced their services to one of our hotel clients, expecting at least a shred of professionalism. The feedback we received from our client about their standard of work was not only embarrassing, it was not what they had agreed and were not very forthcoming with their transparency, something we have always thrived on. Calling it “substandard” is being painfully polite. Creativity dead on arrival, and about as strategic as chucking darts blindfolded down the pub.
We also pitched their “services” to a major potential client who, funnily enough, had worked in PR herself. She was polite enough to sit through the absolute drivel these untrustworthy parasites handed us. But later, she rang us up, genuinely shocked, saying she couldn’t believe anyone in the industry would have the sheer audacity to promise ‘guaranteed results’ with a straight face.
🎭 Guaranteed Results? Guaranteed Nonsense!
Speaking of guaranteed results, let’s dwell on that for a second. This PR agency proudly declared themselves “The only PR agency in the market to agree results upfront and in the contract.” Well, isn’t that just adorable? In a field where results depend on relationships, timing, and strategic execution, they had the brass neck to promise outcomes like they were flipping burgers.
Our client’s response to this? Laughter. Actual, out-loud laughter. Because anyone with half a brain cell knows that in PR, guaranteeing results is like guaranteeing sunshine in the UK — impossible and borderline delusional.
⚖️ We’re Going Legal — And We’re Not Holding Back
We’re not just sat here simmering in a pot of rage – we’re turning up the heat and taking these charlatans to court. The evidence we’ve gathered? Enough to sink them faster than the Titanic with a rocket strapped to it. And honestly? Given their glittering record of deceit, theft, and sheer incompetence, we’re counting down the days until they’re just another cautionary tale in the business graveyard.
Sure, we’re mad. But we’re also principled – a concept these grifters couldn’t grasp if it was stapled to their foreheads. Unlike them, we’ve got a soul (who knew that wasn’t a standard business requirement?). We’ve kept some details vague, not because we’re shy, but because we refuse to wallow in their cesspool of toxic bile and BS accusations. But trust us – the truth alone is savage enough.
Reading this, you might be thinking, “Wow, someone’s got a chip on their shoulder.” And you know what? You’re not wrong. But here’s the kicker: for legal reasons, we can only spill about 30% of the chaos and carnage these parasites unleashed. So, are we bitter? Absolutely. Do we care? Not one bit. We just want these clowns held to account for their grotesque misconduct.
And rest assured, our solicitors are going after them with the kind of vigour usually reserved for a wolf on a fresh steak.
📝 Lessons Learned (So You Don’t Get Screwed)
1. Never Trust a “Guarantee” in PR
If a PR agency promises guaranteed results, they’re either lying to you or to themselves. Run away. Fast.
2. Vet Directors Like You’re Hiring a Babysitter
Would you trust this person with your kids? No? Then don’t trust them with your clients or your business.
3. Quality of Work Matters
Check their previous work. If it looks like it was done by a bored teenager with a hangover, move on.
4. Trust Your Clients’ Instincts
If a client raises an eyebrow at your partner’s work, listen. They’re probably seeing red flags you’ve missed.
5. Legal Protection Is Your Best Friend
Get solid contracts. Be ready to lawyer up if things go south. Because sometimes, they will.
💎 Traits of a Partner Worth Your Time
After this nightmare, we know what a great partner looks like:
- Integrity: They do what they say and say what they do. No lies, no games.
- Transparency: Open about their methods, limitations, and results.
- Quality Work: Deliverables that don’t make you want to apologise to your clients.
- Respect: For you, your clients, and the partnership.
- Professionalism: They act like adults, not conniving weasels.
💥 We’ve Learned. We’ve Grown. And We’re Stronger for It.
We’ve been burned, but we’re still here — stronger, smarter, and more determined than ever to do things the right way. If you want a partner who actually delivers, without the bullsh*t, we’re here for you.
As for the PR agency in question? We’ll see you in court. 🧨
